Learn to love yourself?

Today my counsellor has given me homework for the week to start to love myself.

I have to do two things:

1. Look at myself in the mirror and simply smile and see what thoughts come up.

2. Ask my friends to text me with a list of my “good points”.

I’m going to give it a go but just the thought of it makes me feel incredibly anxious and vulnerable.

Who wants to try it with me? Let’s see if we can make a step towards being a friend to ourselves…

This is a photo I took on holiday in. Canada. It was such an amazing day and reminds me of how wonderful the free things in life can be.

Anxiety – what does it mean

I have problems with anxiety. What that means for me will be different to other people with the same diagnosis.

For me it feels like I have a chain around my feet. I can see where I want to get to and I can take a small step forward but I have a constraint holding me back. My enthusiasm says yes and my fear says no.

I fear having eyes on me. My heart palpitations, shakes and sweaty hands are real and debilitating.

What helps the most? Understanding. People who say “it’s OK to be afraid, but I have faith in you anyway”.

Be kind to people always. Everyone has their own battle – it doesn’t make them any less of a person. Maybe your kindness will help more more person to get off the off the big wheel and stop a lifetime cycle of unhappiness. There’s a lot of power in kindness.

The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

I am a 37 year old woman, lady, girl, person… full of thoughts and with a head sometimes feeling like it might explode. Do my thoughts and questions have answers? That is why I am here. I want to get some part of the inside of my head out into the public and see what happens. Will I be laughed at? Will I be understood? Will there be a mixture of criticism and acceptance, understanding and confusion? There’s only one was to find out, and the answer fills me with wonder and excitement.

I have mental health problems. I have been in and out of counselling for a number of years and through periods of good and bad. I’m seeing a wonderful counsellor right now and through talking to her, a Pandora’s box of ideas and creativity has come out. Please join me on my journey to seek answers to the confusion in my head and to look at the world with new wonder, confusion and above all, excitement!

I am not a natural blogger. I am an actuary. For those that don’t know what that is, think grey suits, maths and seriousness. One of my aims is to bring more personality and vigour into this world. To show the mathematical financial sector that creativity and maths can be friends – opposites do attract sometimes and change can be amazing.

The photo makes me smile. I saw them chatting and it reminded me that everyone needs a friend and a kind word from someone close can change your world.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton